therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
