Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
