Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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