I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
