and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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