dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
