what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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