Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
