if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
