you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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