I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
