Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
