I accidentally had phone sex last night
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
