We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Boobs are out for the taking
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
