I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
