the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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