no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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