So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
