come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
