if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
