I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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