Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
