I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
