what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
