My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize