I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just found a bag of teeth...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
