It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
