Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
