There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
