This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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