are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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