Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
