He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
