is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
