A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
