Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
