Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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