Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
