After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
