At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
