he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
