my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
