Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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