Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
