So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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