Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
