My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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