idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
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I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
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"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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