ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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