this beer tastes like vomit already
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
