We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
