Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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