How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
