I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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