Yo dont text me then not text me
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
