She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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