Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
