two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So apparently I’m into choking now
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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