Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?