Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.