...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.