i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
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I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.