hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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