You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
