I heard we made out
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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