I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
there is glitter all over my balls
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
