idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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